It’s no wonder I’m not losing weight.
So, somebody, someplace decided that someone like me can’t figure out how to read the serving sizes on a can and understand that the calories are per serving not per can…and they are right. Well, until today.
I’ve been counting calories in my effort to lose weight. I figure that as an olderly guy, if I keep my calorie intake down to 1500 or less, I should be okay. My wife suggested that I stop eating a bowl of cereal for desert — yeah, like that’s going to happen. Anyway, little did I know, that a can of white chicken is actually 2.5 servings and the 70 calories is not for the whole can but each serving, making a can of white chicken 175 calories. So at the end of the day, I’m not at 1500 calories but over 2,000 calories (making the same mistake on everything that is multiple servings per container).
Just like the Geico commercial, “everybody knows that,” right? Apparently not. At least it only took me half my life to figure it out and I’m just as intelligent as the next guy; or so I thought.
I guess I just thought they would be straight with me…you know, the can label writing people. Besides, who would of thought that a small can (2.5 oz) of white meat chicken wouldn’t be a serving. Who decided that a serving is only 1 oz? Not me. I figure they do it that way so they can say, it’s only 70 calories per serving. If they had said it was 70 calories per ounce, I could have done the math but I didn’t read the label, I just assumed that little can was a serving.
My salad is now over a couple hundred calories instead of around 100 like I thought. Doing this with everything I eat has turned into a frikkin’ job. Now, I have to think about what I am eating, when I am eating, how I am eating. I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I like to think about really cool stuff like what that plume of something that came off the surface of Mars back in 2012; or why my sick customers show up in my office and breath on me…I don’t like to think about my food other than if I like what I’m eating.
I lost 20 pounds over several months but since the holidays, I put 7 pounds back on my gut. I expected that but I didn’t think that 2 months later I’d still be struggling with losing the weight again. Until today when I realized that I’ve been doing the calorie counting wrong. So, how did I lose the 20 pounds in the first place? I’m guessing that previously, I was probably eating over 2,500 calories and cutting back to around 2,000 was good enough to lose the weight. So, now that I’ve been lied to, or at least been knucklehead enough to not get it, I must rethink and restart my whole program.
In a few days I’ll officially be an olderly guy (you know, closer to 60 than to 50) and let me tell you, exercise is not what it used to be…it’s harder to get motivated, harder to do and I hurt more, everywhere. It’s not pretty.
Please, wish me well in my endeavor as I reboot my weight loss program. And remember, boys and girls, it’s 2.5 servings per container.
Update: For those of you that thought I really didn’t know, it was tongue-in-cheek, wry humor. 😉 I’m not losing weight because I’m eating too many Hostess Ding Dongs.